When was the last time you outgrew your “shell“? When was the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable enough to break out of the old shell, to allow your new one to grow & take shape?
In yoga the other day, one of my favorite teachers shared this poignant analogy of lobsters outgrowing their shells, throughout their lifespan, exposing themselves to predators without their natural protective exterior, until a new shell grows. It’s a natural part of the simple lobster life. They don’t stay crammed in their ill-fitting shell, allowing their fears to keep them in a space that literally no longer fits them. Rather, they break free from their old shell & allow space for a new one to grow that fits the new lobster they are becoming. There is no over-thinking going on in this tiny lobster brain. Rather, they just do it! This simple creature seems to be doing it right…. & prompted this blog post. Hopefully this resonates with others as we say goodbye to one year, and welcome another.
24 years ago I was entering my last semester at the University of Dayton. While others were anxiously awaiting to learn the status of medical/law/grad school applications, or preparing resumes for their first “real” job, I was studying a booklet containing various mission/volunteer organizations from around the world & the US. Yes, this was pre-internet era.
But where? I was first drawn to Madagascar. Why? Admittedly, they had lemurs and they were & it was as exotic of a place & animal I had ever dared to imagine. I also explored Sierra Leone, a small west coast African county where many UD students volunteered post college. I felt myself outgrowing my shell, even if I didn’t how what the next one was going to look like or feel like. I was outgrowing the safe/predictable/ordinary path I had followed thus far in my life. I wanted to go far far away….others wanted me to stay closer to home. I recognized this internal conflict~the internal/true self & external image/ideals are not always in congruence.
My faith/gender/birth order/family dynamic/personality/zodiac sign/ethnicity/education or degree/occupation have all enabled me to be a “people pleaser.” On the surface, this is an amazing quality, right? Who doesn’t love to be around someone whose sole purpose in life is seemingly to make others around him/her feel better? However, we “people pleasers” often operate with such intentions in direct conflict with our own desires/wants/goals being met. The quality often set us up to ignore and/or turn away from the truths our internal self is feeling or knowing. If we choose to continue to ignore or suppress the need for a new shell, eventually our body will let us know we need to pay attention….. I’m still learning.
How many times in your life have you felt your internal truth in conflict with what you felt the world wanted or expected you to do?
For reasons I couldn’t have known & far too complicated & off-topic to explain in detail, my ultimate decision to choose a “safer” volunteer location in the US ended up being the right decision, at the time. Within a year of my college graduation, my Dad was diagnosed with stage IV cancer, began several years of intensive treatment including 2 stem cell transplants. Had I gone to Africa, the internal conflict would’ve been too much for me to endure, & somehow God or the Universe seemed to already know this to be true. Home is where I needed to be. My whole self. At the time, both my internal/external self knew this to be true.
And yet…..deep down, that spark, to be something different, to chart my own path, the wanderlust inside me who wanted to see the world and show the world to others, lay dormant/silent for years.
Have you remained in your safe shell, quieting that inner-voice, at your own personal expense? When are you going to allow internal truth to speak?
While part of me understands growth and change is not a linear process, & circumstances necessitate we have some flexibility & often have to put pursuits on hold, I’ve become increasingly aware that confident/spirited 22-year-old girl somehow got lost along the way. While I do not regret decisions I’ve made in life, for they have made me who I am, I do wonder what would’ve happened if I had the courage to make some differently along the way……
The young woman who walked across that stage at UD to accept her diploma from whomever it was giving them out at the time did not worry about:
what others would think
snakes/spiders/creepy crawlies
how to get from point A to point B
communication with the “outside world” – pre “cellphone” age too!
much of anything…..
2018. A new year. Gives us the opportunity to re-set. To clear out. To re-group. To plan. To organize. And perhaps, gives us the opportunity to break out of our shell, allowing the space for our new one to emerge.
Who would you become, what would you do, what message is your internal self trying to tell you? Are you listening? Is it time to break out of your old shell? Do you have the courage to do so? Gather your tribe! Or better yet, allow yourself to sit in solitude & trust God or the Universe or your internal guide will show you the way……..
I came across this quote years ago. It has remained a guiding light in my life.
Becoming who we are truly meant to be, having the courage to be vulnerable and break out of our old shells is part of our journey towards finding inner peace. When our internal and external self are more in congruence, it is in that space we are granted freedom to live fully without restrictions or regret or conflict.
Wishing all of you the courage/confidence/insight to break free from your 2017 (or 1993!) shells and find who you are truly meant to be…..I will be in the jungle in Costa Rica, practicing yoga/meditating/hiking and seeking….. embracing 2018 like an old friend who got lost along the way but was always inside me waiting to emerge. Can’t wait to show the world this person - who in some ways is way “cooler” than the one the world has been seeing for far too long.
Interested in where the lobster story came from for my brilliant and insightful yoga teacher? Watch this short video…..
Peace & All the Best for 2018! Phew….we made it through another year…..