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We do not grow in the space of comfort.
I have this conversation with clients and family and friends on a nearly daily basis. No matter how many times I have the conversation, no matter how many times I hear it or read it from others far more “evolved or enlightened” than I am, the inner dialogue in my head remains:
I want the easy button!
Haven’t I endured enough?
Isn’t there another way?
I love this image! The more I delve deep into the world of introversion vs extroversion, the more sense this makes to me. I have been taught to believe through messages in school, in media, and professional conferences (I will explain later) and seemingly everywhere I turn this: extroversion is the standard to which we all should aspire.
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When was the last time you outgrew your “shell“? When was the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable enough to break out of the old shell, to allow your new one to grow & take shape?
Read moreSeveral years ago, I started posting every day in November messages of gratitude. While I am cognizant other people mostly see me as a positive person, and I’ve been referred to by clients as “little miss sunshine” and “hippie/peace-loving therapist”…. lovingly, I’m sure….. my outside persona has not and does not always fit what is stirring inside of me. That scary, dark place as it has been referred to by a dear friend. As life ebbs and flows, my mindset does as well. And while I believe this is part of the human condition, I also know from decades of clinical practice, we cling much more readily to negativity than we do to positivity, or in this specific example of humanity, gratitude.
Read moreSad & depression are not the same. They are not interchangeable. Yet, I am hearing it more and more in clinical practice as “I was depressed, yesterday.” No. No. No.
Read moreOn a flight recently across country, I decided in my infinite wisdom to start Brene Brown’s book “The Gift of Imperfection.” If you are not familiar with her work at all…it isn’t exactly “light” reading, and thus I should have known it would awaken some sort of emotions in me. Trapped in this metal capsule hurdling through the air, and yes that is the best possible way I can describe flying in my opinion, and sharing an uncomfortable finite amount of space….I thought, hey why don’t I explore more of Brene’s research. Surely this can help me be a better therapist, because after all…I am certain (at this point) I have dealt with all of my own shit……
Read moreLast week I had the great opportunity to meet with a junior in High School for “career day,” discussing what I call my “day job” as a clinical social worker/therapist.
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Image courtesy of Disney Studios
….Moana. The tale of a young girl who is soon to be Chief of her tribe, learning to, literally and figuratively, go beyond the reef to discover who she really is meant to be. Should she leave the comfort and ease of her Polynesian island life to see what else is out there for her, or stay where she is safe and she is surrounded by all people & things she knows and trusts?
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Each November, for the past several years, I have devoted the month to posting daily all at least one entry on gratitude. I am happy I have inspired others to do the same. What started as a small little reminder for myself has turned into this November Gratitude Practice that has been the perfect backdrop to start my holiday season.
Read moreIn college I didn’t weigh myself and I didn’t own a scale. My diet consisted of a bagel in the morning and a diet Dr Pepper, an Otis Spunkmeyer chocolate chip cookie for lunch and probably a diet Dr Pepper, and dinner was chicken and rice or pasta and possibly water (on a rare occasion I would eat a salad from the cafeteria but only if they had red peppers because I am slightly obsessed with them) and shock tarts candy late night at UDF run, and Milano’s turkey submarine sandwiches anytime I could afford them, and a minimum of 3 days a week I drank without any concern of calories or how many was too many. I didn’t exercise regularly. The only memory I have of doing so was this….
Read moreI’ve been on both sides. I know both sides of the coin. And if given the choice, and there’s always a choice….I choose to live with gratitude.
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Do you ever have themes recur in your life? Words. Phrases. Thoughts. Images.
Enlightenment has been my theme lately. In discussion with a friend, on the recurrence of this theme and it’s meaning, I suggested enlightenment comes both with age and experience, much like wisdom. May be it’s a pay off for the aging process that can be less than kind at times?
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The underlying framework with which I strive to live my life. It’s easy for me, possibly, as I sit in session with people throughout the week sharing their life story. I know, can attest, can share, everyone is fighting some sort of fight. Be kind.
Read moreOften I’m asked, both professionally and personally, how to find peace and happiness in life. Many suggesting if only they had enough money, or the right job, or……and in my humble opinion, the focus on something outside self does little to nothing to foster peace and happiness.
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“Impermanence ….. the notion that all of conditioned existence, without exception, is transient, or in a constant state of flux.”
Read moreLost in my mind. Ever since I was a little child, I have spent a lot of time alone in my thoughts. A dear friend of mine has said, and I quote, “it’s a scary place, what goes on in your mind.” I am amused. I disagree, vehemently.
Read moreI attended a funeral yesterday. Over the course of the 16 years I’ve been working for or volunteering for Gilda’s Club, I’ve lost count of how many funerals I’ve attended. Working with people with cancer, the possibility of someone dying is omnipresent. That statement sits somehow uncomfortably with me because it presumes the rest of us who aren’t diagnosed get a pass from the certainty of death, when in reality, none of us knows when our last breath will come on this earth. So why do we live as if our moments are infinite, when in fact, other than taxes death is the only certainty we face on this earth.
But the “dying” and “loss” and “grief” part isn’t what I want to write about today. Today, I want to write about the “dash”….Have you heard of it?
Read more30 day yoga challenge.
I signed up for the challenge at my yoga studio, initially because I’m not one to shy away from a challenge.
Read more“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
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