Do you ever have themes recur in your life? Words. Phrases. Thoughts. Images.
Enlightenment has been my theme lately. In discussion with a friend, on the recurrence of this theme and it’s meaning, I suggested enlightenment comes both with age and experience, much like wisdom. May be it’s a pay off for the aging process that can be less than kind at times?
I recalled being in my early 20s, working as a social worker with families in their homes. My clients all had multiple presenting issues including but not limited to neglect, allegations of abuse, socioeconomic disparities, and …the list goes on. I was a 20something, white, tiny female who grew up in the suburbs and went to a private college. I had no children, wasn’t married, and certainly had very little “life” experience to offer families I was paid to serve. When I recall those days, I feel humbled thinking how generous they were in accepting what pitiful advice I had to offer them. I think of some of my most challenging families, wondering if I had the opportunity to work with them now, what advice or tools or techniques or skills could I offer?
I’m going to be 45, soon. Not soon in some abstract sense but soon as in a few months! I feel like I look pretty decent for what “45” is in my mind, and have in my lifetime made efforts to take care of this one earthly body I have been given. I am also proud of the years of experience I have on this planet.
I know through my nearly 45 years I’ve loved deeply and hurt deeply from loss of loved ones, thus I feel I am empathic in working with others who are hurting, regardless of reason. True love for another living being is eternal and universal. It’s spiritual, for me, more than emotional. It’s something I do, not something I feel.
I’ve worked really hard to get my Master’s Degree and to become a clinical social worker, and value what it takes to achieve a goal. I continue to work to eliminate “I can’t” from my vocabulary and encourage others to do so. We never know what we are capable of in life, until we push beyond our limits. Now…that does not mean I will ever swim with sharks, there is a difference between “I can’t” and “I won’t”….. C'mon!
I’ve learned to let go of my attachments to things. Car. House. Clothing. Shoes (ok, may be shoes are an exception.) Things can always be replaced. And shouldn’t define who we are. EVER. It makes you no less or more valuable because you can purchase what you want in life, rather than what you need. While we may want many things in life, I’ve found focusing on what I need serves me better at keeping me humble, and making me feel appreciative of all that I don’t “need” in life. There’s always, always, always someone worse off……so in times of despair, I try to remember…..
I believe in the power of prayer, the benefits of a positive attitude, the peace found in meditation and the energy found through listening to a child giggle or a conversation with a dog. While there are many things in life we cannot control, every single one of these costs me NOTHING yet is PRICELESS.
I assert all people are flawed. We accept them, or we don’t. That simple.
I so wish I would’ve known what I do at almost 45, at 22. But like wisdom, for me, enlightenment has come through letting go of what I thought to be true and allowing what might be to shine through. It’s spending time contemplating life and death, and realizing how small we all really are in life. It’s reaching out, and centering within. It’s realizing some may choose to not want to be my friend, my “Facebook” friend, my …….and at nearly 45 I’m more than ok with it, I surround myself with people I love and love enough to let go of those I need to in life so we both can grow.
It’s finding peace in one’s journey……for me, that’s all it has ever been. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, for any of us. Why do we think it is? It makes today matter, but not in an OMG I better start checking off my bucket list sort of attitude. Really, who could sustain that energy? It’s a “don’t waste time on stuff or people or things or ….that doesn’t bring you happiness” every. single. time. you have control over choosing. Key- every time you have the choice. Clearly there are work meetings or family/friend obligations we’d rather not attend, but our life does necessitate we go anyway. However, when given a choice….do you want to spend time in the rat race of life…..or on living a life filled with peace and happiness?
Wishing you peace..and happiness in your journey today, and always…..wherever that road may take you today or tomorrow or ……and if you spent time reading and thinking about my words until the very end today, I am grateful.
Peace…….